A Thankful Heart
by kate04us
Summary: An add-on to 3x11 "Down the Drain" - Rusty has problems understanding Sharon's feelings for him and it makes her sad. Her friend Andy is there to listen and make her feel better.


**A Thankful Heart**

by Kate04

**A/N:** After watching "Down the Drain" last night, the sadness of that scene in Sharon's condo wouldn't let me go and I didn't think Sharon would forget it either. Maybe one day her boy will understand that just being himself and doing his best to be kind and safe will always be enough for Sharon.

A big "thank you" to **Most Bossy Robin** for the beta. I've fiddled with it since, so all remaining mistakes are mine! **l****ontanissima **gets a hug for her assistance and opinion and **Kadi219 **for the title. There is a little bit about suspenders in there. I blame **Kadi219** for that. We had a talk about possible ways to use them. Now it's her turn, because her original idea is so much hotter! ;-)

**Disclaimer:** Not my toys, but I promise to return them unharmed.

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"_Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."  
― Marcel Proust_

When Sharon arrived at the office, they were still waiting for their suspect to get there. She stopped in the murder room long enough to get a quick update from her people, but her mind was still partly focused on her conversation with Rusty.

As soon as Mike was done with his rather lengthy tale of how they had tracked down their suspect, Sharon retreated to her office, closing the door and drawing the blinds. She walked around her desk to stand in front of the window, hands braced against the windowsill, drawing comfort from the familiar sight.

Not even two minutes later, a knock at her door drew her out of her thoughts again. Sharon took a deep breath, her attempt at trying to hide her troubled thoughts was half-hearted at best, because she knew that it would probably be Andy. He had given her one of his searching looks earlier, having noticed her preoccupation and he wasn't known for letting these things rest.

She called for him to enter, but didn't turn around to greet him. Over the last year they had grown quite comfortable with each other, their friendship strong enough for moments of silence, for wordless understanding and unquestioning trust. Sharon heard him approach, felt his solid warmth behind her seconds before his hands gently touched her arms. Leaning into him slightly, she closed her eyes and enjoyed his soothing presence and spicy scent as his cheek rested against hers.

They stood like this for a long moment, both looking out over the city, before Andy finally spoke, his soft voice rumbling deep in his chest.

"So, you wanna talk about it?"

It was a well-practiced routine by now – the silence, the question, a long talk to a compassionate listener followed by reassuring words and, lately, calming caresses. If they were honest with each other, they would have to admit that their friendship was heading towards something a little more complicated, but neither of them was quite ready to face that possibility yet. Instead, they enjoyed every moment of their increasing closeness, both content to take things one day at a time.

"Rusty finally finished his paperwork for the adoption this morning. It's really going to happen today."

Despite her troubled thoughts, Sharon had to smile. The knowledge that, after such a long time of uncertainty and fear, Rusty would finally, officially be part of her family, filled her with so much happiness and warmth. It truly was a miracle and she would never stop being thankful for having him in her life.

She just wished… Her renewed tension didn't go unnoticed. Andy squeezed her arms lightly, his voice so low his words almost got lost in the thick curtain of her hair.

"That's great. So what's the problem? Something's bothering you."

Sharon hummed, laying her hands over his on her upper arms, as she tried to verbalise her thoughts.

"It's just something Rusty said earlier. He's still a little uncomfortable with emotional displays and, well, maybe I went a bit overboard with expressing my happiness."

Andy chuckled quietly and she felt his lips stretch into a grin against her temple.

"Admit it, you were completely sentimental and freaked the poor kid out. Am I right?"

Sharon tried to elbow him into the ribs, but Andy managed to evade the attack, before he pulled her even closer. She smiled up at him, her gaze locking onto his sparkling eyes before she turned back towards the window, letting her head fall against his shoulder.

"Yes, I guess you're right. It's just that this case makes me realise once more how very lucky I am to have him. Those people had to go through so much pain and heartache to get a child, only to have him snatched away again at the last second. I already had two wonderful children and then suddenly I had a third. It's such a miracle, Andy.

"He still thinks he has to pay me back somehow. He said that some day he'd give me a reason to be proud of him. How can he not know how very proud I am of him and all he has accomplished?"

Sharon noticed how her voice shook with emotion and normally she would hate to show this weakness. With Andy she was safe, though. He understood.

"Sharon, for most of his life people never gave him anything without expecting something in return. He isn't used to people being proud of him just for being himself and doing normal stuff. Maybe it's just hard for him to really understand it. For him, you are the miracle."

She knew Andy was right, but it still made her sad and angry to know that her boy carried around so many scars.

"I just wish I could make him see things from my point of view. Just long enough to truly understand how very much he means to me and how incredibly proud I am of him. He has come such a long way. It's such an extraordinary accomplishment for a child with Rusty's history to get where he is today. How could I not be proud of him?"

It was difficult to wrap her mind around the fact that anyone could question the value of his achievements, least of all the person who had worked so hard on them.

"The kid loves you, Sharon and he has learned to trust you. That's why he was able to live up to his potential. The two of you are perfect for each other and in a few hours you'll officially be family. The rest will work itself out. Just give him time. You can't expect the result of years of bad experiences to vanish over night. He will understand eventually. For now he knows that you love him and that you want him. It's a lot more than he had before."

Closing her eyes against the onslaught of feelings, Sharon took hold of his hands and pulled his arms more firmly around her until they rested over her stomach. What had she done to deserve these amazing people and all the happiness they brought into her life? It was days like these, when the feeling of joy prevailed despite all the sadness and injustice they saw, that she was reminded how beautiful and fragile life was and how many reasons she had to be thankful.

As the sounds outside her office indicated some kind of increased activity, Andy hugged her even closer for a moment, his lips brushing against her ear, his warm breath carrying his whispered words.

"The kid is damn lucky to have you."

With that he pulled away, preparing to head outside and find out if their suspect had finally arrived. Before he could step away, Sharon turned around and grabbed his suspenders with both hands, effectively holding him in place. She looked into the warm depth of his eyes, a soft smile on her face. Rising to the balls of her feet, she let her lips brush against his cheek, her quiet words a gentle caress against his skin.

"And I'm damn lucky to have you."

With one final, lingering kiss she pulled away, straightened her clothes and hair and followed him out into the murder room. Her bright smile, mirrored on Andy's face, might draw their colleagues' suspicions, but she really didn't care for once. She was happy.


End file.
